Wednesday, June 15, 2011

3/1/11 - Starting Off The Blog With A Bang (And A Whimper)


Welcome to my blog, The Bellingham Jerk.  As a six-year Bellinghamster of some ill repute, I've often wondered how I can best present all that is awesome about Bellingham, the experiences and friendships I've made out here.

Unlike other blogs and newslets, I'm gonna focus on just a wide range of stuff, mostly based on what pisses me off the most.

Some of you don't care about this quiet, shady, delectable slice of heaven up here in the Northwest, this city of subdued excitement and tranquil awesomeness, this lustrously boisterous battlegrounds of artists, buskers, established musicians and more.

On the other hand, some of you were lookin' for somethin' to do on a Friday night in a small town with big time appetites.

Well, here you are.  Take off yer shoes, lemme rub yer feet.

Sit back and relax as I type in all caps lock, simulating the effect of yelling directly into your eardrums.

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3/1/11 - Starting Off The Blog With A Bang (And A Whimper)

Y'know some blogs start off with a positive message YOU SHOULD NOT GO TO TADEOS!!!

NEVER FUCKING EVER!!!!!

No, seriously: Cilantro is not a specifically cultural thing for Mexico.  You do not see cilantro on their flag.  Their national anthem was not written with cilantro as the subject matter.  Cilantro, if used properly, can indeed make an already delicious Mexican dish all the more flavorful.

IT SHOULD NOT BE THE BE-ALL END-ALL OF A MAIN DISH!!!!!

For those who don't know and may never know, the Bowl n' Roll was an off-again on-again restaurant of sheer awesomeness.  Fronted by mounds of delicious beef brisket sandwiches, they were best known for interesting combinations and delectably large portions.  The price wasn't too bad either!  On the other hand, the owner didn't advertise as much as they should have and, sadly, the Bowl n' Roll either died or moved elsewhere (and if so, I'd really like to find out where!).

No, seriously, the Beef Brisket sandwich is easily award-winning, universally pleasing, and worthy of as many freakin' trophies as a restaurant should get!

So the Bowl n' Roll, sadly, shut down.  What do we get instead?

Could it be award winning, universally pleasing nevermind I won't continue that sentence and cut to the chase: what we got was Tadeo's, a Mexican restaurant that seeks to please as well as Mexico del Sol (so I've heard - gotta check that out sometime) or Taco Del Mar.

What we expected, upon sampling their wares, was something at LEAST in between Taco Del Mar and Taco Bell.

What we got was a bad roller coaster ride of bleh that went back to a dumpster dive in California and came back attempting to present itself as something Bellingham-minded.

Care to quote me?  Please do.

Now, by all means, the first bite of my chorizo y huevos burrito (supposedly con queso, though notably missing) was actually quite good.  Nowhere near as good as it SHOULD be, and with rather little huevos to be found...but there you have it.  First bite did not fail inexactly, but it didn't surprise me either.  In the end, the idea to continue eating the so-called "meal" would prove to be my undoing though.

It was that goddamned cilantro.

No, seriously, it was that goddamned cilantro that REALLY cheesed me off!  That and the lack of cheese.  The rice was good, but my god...the cilantro!!!!!!

IT WAS EVERYWHERE!

Now, let's get off of the omnipresent issue of using so much cilantro that the rest of the meal is obliterated.  No eggs to be found, certainly no flavor of them.  Chorizo is meh, but not THAT bad and certainly could've carried the burrito on it's own if not for the added cheese that I had ordered (CILANTROOOO!!!!).  The rest of the burrito fillings were somewhat good, only it was truly hard to give a verdict due to the...well, I DID say I'd get off of that train, so nevermind.  Suffice it to say, they were good but forgettable bits of blah.

Now, my biggest issue: as I ate my way through the burrito, I found less and less chorizo (I'm fairly certain they DID remember that I requested chorizo WITH eggs burrito, and with cheese.  I even pointed at it on the menu, y'know?) and more and more cilantro and chorizo grease.  It was like they had purposefully halved the essence of the burrito in order to somehow save that sweet, sweet chorizo meat for themselves or somethin'!

No, seriously, do they somehow save money by chintzing on the chorizo?  Towards the bottom third of the burrito I had nothing but grease, lettuce, and freakin' cilantro.

Now, my partner-in-crime had ordered a tamale combo of some sort.  The refried beans were from-a-can forgettable, with their cliched cheese topping.  I don't even know what else was on the plate: the tamale itself, upon a taste, was good...but the masa used for it was incredibly bleh, and the fact that even though she SAID "no spicy" and it still came slathered in spicy schlep sauce had us both going, "Wait, the waitress DOES understand English, right?"

Neither she, nor I, touched her pineapple tamale after the first bite.  Hell, the thing could be used for a weapon it was so heavy...and no filling at all.  None.  No taste either, save for the chalky chocolate syrup (or whatever the hell it was SUPPOSED to be!) they drizzled on top of it.

We paid extra for the goddamned pineapple tamale!!!!!

As a further cynical, snarky note: pretentious hipster scum everywhere.  I didn't even know Bellingham HAD a hipster scene, let alone that they congregated here in an effort to seem cultural or some-other cock-and-bull.  Admittedly, the place IS pretty obscure I WILL NOT FINISH THIS STATEMENT GODOMMOT FRONK!

So yeah.  Tadeo's.  Don't go there.  If you must, go with this warning: it sucks, the prices are too goddamned high, and the time it took to cook and prepare the food did NOT equal out properly.

Now, I can already here some of you:

"Oh, Bastard, how can you be like that?  Certainly it might have been an off day?"
Or, "Oh, Bastard!  How can you have such high standards for a simple restaurant?"
Or, "Oh, Bastard!  For all you know, they knew who you were and simply made you a bad meal to scare you off?"

Pffft, fuck THAT shit.  If I worked the way they made and prepared food, I'd NEVER have a job.  The moment we start making excuses or lowering the bar when it comes to everyone else outside of ourselves is the day we, as humans, have failed.  If upper management expects me to work hard, efficiently, and effectively with a 98% quality control, then fuck you: I'm gonna make YOU do it too, you bastard.

So, brass tacks...

Tadeo's
(364) 718-6206
(360) 647-1862
(which number is it, WHICH NUMBER IS IT?!!!!)
207 E Holly St
Bellingham, WA 98225

Pros: The hot cocoa was good.  I can't say that enough.  The decor wasn't too cheesy, and the chips were downright tasty.
Cons: The high fuckin' price, the food, the imported staff, the ambiance, the...well, if I have to go into THAT many cons for a freakin' restaurant, that oughta say somethin' 'bout the place.

VERDICT: Fuck this fucking place, we're never goin' back there again!!!!

Rageometer: 10 outta 10.  And it only goes UP to 10.

Partner-In-Crime's quote: "It's pretty bad when we gotta go to ANOTHER place just to get the awful taste of the FIRST place outta our mouths!" - upon us going to a coffee establishment simply to get the fucking taste of horrible outta our mouths.

PIC Rageometer: 9 outta 10, only because of the hot chocolate.


For more reviews on Tadeos, I guess you could get a second opinion or some junk here:

http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/88/1575579/restaurant/Tadeos-Bellingham

P.S. - if you happen to know Spanish, you'll probably get better service there.  If you don't, well then...good luck!

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