Monday, January 30, 2012

Pimpin' My Damn Self

Yeaaaaaap.  Have you visited my whoreblog, The Pen Is My Sword?  I've got quite a few choice literary pieces over there, including the publicly-released write-ups and poetry that I've done lately and awhile back.

Suffice it to say, it's mah litblog.  'Cuz I honestly believe you guys actually READ my walls of text, and might be willing to sit down and read some of my more meaningful stuff.

Speakin' of which, y'see that link?  In case ya don't, check this:

http://thepenismysword.blogspot.com/2012/01/extreme-existence-battleworld-proposal.html

Now, I'm still writin' stuff up.  BUUUUUT I've already got the Kraze Armada already completely done for starting values and other nonsuch, and I've begun work on their storyline (as well as suggested map routes).  At least canon storyflow (depending on what choices you make) will be written up this way, with the rest added on as I go on.

I know I'm coming at this from the viewpoint of a writer, but that's what I do BEST, y'know?  Anyway, I can program myself but I'll eventually come to the Internets, my friends, and you guys - my readers - for help with the artwork and beta-testing and double-checkin' shit.

Until then I want to keep workin' at it and ensurin' that it's at least worth your time to read, y'know?  For what it's worth, the Kraze Armada (the "Shotoclone" of the game, not inexactly the main good guys but more than likely the one outside of the Krieg the audience will play first) is already shaping up to be pretty cool.  Lord knows if you base it on the characters alone they got more than a couple of my faves, but speakin' as the creator and as biased as I am - yeah, there's a favorite or three of mine in each kingdom, even the Goblinate Forces.

Anyway, this blog post is just to whore out my litblog and also highlight the work I've done on Battleworld thus far.  As soon as I can actually afford to go to a restaurant, I shall and, naturally, talk about it first here!


OH, do expect a KAOS: Chaos Party Radio post sometime too!  It seems like I DID get mentioned by Da Boys, and they even used some of my material!

Fuckin' AWESOME~!

Last but not least, my attention whore-ism has not been satisfied!  Tell your friends, tell yer lovers, tell yer fuckin' PARENTS 'bout me!  With 6 blogs and walls of text as big as my freakin' head, you'd think I'd have at least a LITTLE bit of somethin' worth yer time!

And hey, if I don't lemme know 'bout that too!

C'mon, bring that fine ass over here!

Sincerely,

~That Bastard

Saturday, January 21, 2012

1/10/12 Fuck A Ruby's Dinettes

1/10/12 Fuck A Ruby's Dinettes

Is it me or do airport restaurants, whether they be fast food, small time, or "adult" dining establishments, completely blow fat guys for chump change?

No, fucking hear me out on this.  Once a year I go jetsetting to visit friends and family for Christmas and New Years, right?  Around this time I usually stay away from airport food simply due to high as fuck cost, right?

Well every now and then I snag a meal or two due to time constraints and sheer hunger.  Plus I don't eat anything until after I get off the bus/cab and right before I fly, 's how I control my nervousness about defying god and nature before once again defying god and nature.

So anyway, the little sandwich shop/bistro in Bellingham Airport ain't a bad place.  Pricey but tasty, and the turkey club with homemade pesto was a downright holiday delight.

Coffee sucked, but where I'm going there IS no coffee that ain't starbucks, so yeah...last taste of WA gets to be mediocre at best.

AND THEN you've got Ruby's Dinette.

SIgh.

Dramatic siiigh.

I'm going to firebomb this fucking tasteless, classless shithole.

ahem 16 DOLLARS SHOULD GET YOU A WHOLE BURGER COMBO GODAMMIT, WITH THICK CUTS OF BEEF, A BUN WITH A LARGER CIRCUMFERENCE THAN A WENDY'S JUNIOR DELUXE, REAL BACON, -SOME- KIND OF SAUCE, AND FRIES THAT WERE NOT BACK-ORDERED FROM A MCDONALD'S CATALOG!!!

No, seriously, shitsux.  ESPECIALLY the...well, the whole fucking thing.  As tasteless as cardboard, as thin as a 99 cent pizza (cardboard), and as satisfying as a mouthful of...well, cardboard!

And the first, Jesus Christ the fries!!!!  I've seen less sad and pathetic form from brokedown hookers in the middle of a monday, yo.

Seriously, shitREALLYfuckingsux.

For the price I paid ($16.06 oh dear god forgive me I was hungry and didn't notice that shit until it was too late) I got a double bacon crapburger with horrible fries and forgetfully flat medium-sized nestea raspberry, a feat that is actually impressive.  I mean how the fuck do you make NESTEA raspberry iced tea, of all things, taste flat?

I mean, how much work DOES it take to suck out all the delicious from raspberry iced tea?!!!

I will not only never come back here, but am urging EVERYONE to fucking embargo the bastards until they learn how to cook with actually good food.  Fuck these fucking fucks and double fuck LAX for having them there.

Well, I've raged about these bastards long enough.  I don't even want to give them BAD advertising, let alone anything else.

Ruby's Diner (what the fuck, they call themselves Dinette but Googles says their name is Diner)
LAX - Terminal 6 
Los Angeles, CA
90045
(310) 646-2480

Pros: None.  NONE.  Even the "decor" felt forced.  Everything about this place is fucking horrible, I can't even use real english for it - it's just fucking horribad SO FUCKING HORRIBAD~!!  Hell is a free table at Ruby's Diner.  QUOTE!  ME!!!

Con: The food, the price, the "ambiance."  The service.  The fucking raspberry iced tea.   Everything that makes a restaurant what it is these people fucking fail at.  Did I mention the barely-cleaned tables?  With so many tables open, you'd think they'd have time to clean the fucking things - they didn't have a lot of people there, just enough to keep things open.  Shit, just...fuck these fucking fucks.

VERDICT: TSA didn't run me down inexactly as they just asked me what's up.  I explained myself and indeed, the lady who had approached me agreed with me.  These fucks are horrible.  The bar cannot be lowered any more than this, and I've been to a couple of dives in my time.  D-grade joints have more class than this fucking place.  Fuck 'em, let's never talk about this shitstain of a eatery again, alright?  Just, fuck...FUCK!!!!

Rageometer: 10 out of 10, absolute MAXIMUM FUCK levels.  The earth should be salted after their destruction.  I am just THAT disappoint at these jackwads.

I cannot curse hard enough at these goat molesters and actually spent two solid minutes glaring at their sign before I got chased down by T.S.A.

Yeah, you bastards.  I'm THAT guy.  Also, Brooke, if you are reading this I still don't blame you for doing your job - 's all good, girl.

Usually I'd put a Partner-In-Crime's quote and second opinion here (which usually goes from a radical range of same as me to absolute opposite mine), but I'm currently lacking in that department plus it was a solo run anyway. Don't worry kids, I DO have a Partner-In-Crime in mind, one that shares the same exemplary details of not cowtowing to my overbearing personality and is able to be honest with his opinions.  The only difference?  Just a bro, just a bro.

Of course he's MY bro, so naturally that makes him perfect for the job.

Anyway, instead of hearing me jabber on about how bad these jumped-up fucks are, check out these other reviews:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/rubys-dinette---lax-los-angeles
http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/5/74649/restaurant/Airport-LAX/Rubys-Dinette-LA#all_reviews ("Critic Reviews" lol)

P.S. - CANNOT RAGE HARD ENOUGH AT THESE FUCKS!!!!! GRAAAAAAAAAGRGH!!!!

P.P.S. - The fuck, are they Ruby's Diner or Ruby's Dinettes?  I'm starting to see a pattern here, amongst really bad restaurants - they can never decide inexactly what their fucking name is.  Gah.  Oh yeah, and then there's the big band music someone was piping in from their IPOD.  I dunno, just reinforced how fucking plastic and fake that place is.