Monday, January 30, 2012

Pimpin' My Damn Self

Yeaaaaaap.  Have you visited my whoreblog, The Pen Is My Sword?  I've got quite a few choice literary pieces over there, including the publicly-released write-ups and poetry that I've done lately and awhile back.

Suffice it to say, it's mah litblog.  'Cuz I honestly believe you guys actually READ my walls of text, and might be willing to sit down and read some of my more meaningful stuff.

Speakin' of which, y'see that link?  In case ya don't, check this:

Now, I'm still writin' stuff up.  BUUUUUT I've already got the Kraze Armada already completely done for starting values and other nonsuch, and I've begun work on their storyline (as well as suggested map routes).  At least canon storyflow (depending on what choices you make) will be written up this way, with the rest added on as I go on.

I know I'm coming at this from the viewpoint of a writer, but that's what I do BEST, y'know?  Anyway, I can program myself but I'll eventually come to the Internets, my friends, and you guys - my readers - for help with the artwork and beta-testing and double-checkin' shit.

Until then I want to keep workin' at it and ensurin' that it's at least worth your time to read, y'know?  For what it's worth, the Kraze Armada (the "Shotoclone" of the game, not inexactly the main good guys but more than likely the one outside of the Krieg the audience will play first) is already shaping up to be pretty cool.  Lord knows if you base it on the characters alone they got more than a couple of my faves, but speakin' as the creator and as biased as I am - yeah, there's a favorite or three of mine in each kingdom, even the Goblinate Forces.

Anyway, this blog post is just to whore out my litblog and also highlight the work I've done on Battleworld thus far.  As soon as I can actually afford to go to a restaurant, I shall and, naturally, talk about it first here!

OH, do expect a KAOS: Chaos Party Radio post sometime too!  It seems like I DID get mentioned by Da Boys, and they even used some of my material!

Fuckin' AWESOME~!

Last but not least, my attention whore-ism has not been satisfied!  Tell your friends, tell yer lovers, tell yer fuckin' PARENTS 'bout me!  With 6 blogs and walls of text as big as my freakin' head, you'd think I'd have at least a LITTLE bit of somethin' worth yer time!

And hey, if I don't lemme know 'bout that too!

C'mon, bring that fine ass over here!


~That Bastard


  1. So this is what a whore post looks like.

    SIX BLOGS! Wow! I'll have to check out the "Penis the Sword" one (or what ever its called!)

    Why the six blogs? Is each one different? Or do you post on a different one a day? I like asking questions? Which one is your main blog?

    1. BEEEEEERK GRAAASM, 'sap bro!

      Yeap, six blogs! The Pen Is My Sword.

      My penis is a sword.

      I have a sword penis.


      anyway, I do indeed have seven penises - uh, six blogs.

      Each one IS different.

      I actually have a "set schedule," but it depends on when I feel like it really.

      My "main blog" WAS this one, The Bellingham Jerk, but eventually I came even deeper into poverty and kinda switched it over to "That Bastard On..." which is my WALLS OF TEXT blog.

      My lit blog is The Pen Is My Sword, and my other two blogs are devoted to musical findings on youtube and...


      Man-Flavored Milk is kinda hard to describe. I, literally, bang on the keyboard with my eyes closed and roaring aloud at the screen.


      Oh, and Netflix This! provides lists of stuff to watch on Netflix with a short review for each movie/series. I happen to like Netflix This quite a lot and find it somewhat creative since no one else is really doin' that.

  2. Battleworld sounds awesome. I love the proposal - it's a great story that throws you right into the action, and it makes me want to check it out. Plus, well, I'm a huge FF Tactics/Ogre tactics nerd, so I'd definitely play a game like this. Keep us posted.

    On another note, I have to mention that I giggled a little bit like a child when I saw the link went to thepenismysword. I don't think I have to explain why I giggled.

    1. I'm certain you can thoroughly understand that it's that little joke that every grown man I've told the blog about will giggle at.

      Primal, isn't it? Universal as well.

      And yes, I AM an awesome swordfighter.

      I thoroughly realize that many of the people who find out about Battleworld will probably lose interest after awhile during even the writing phase of it, but I'm certain that the game itself, and my solid storyline writing, character development and the fact that the Extreme Existence itself revolves around "The Rule of Cool" and "The Rule of Badass," will probably either bring them back or keep them glued as I go about releasing information.

      The biggest issue I'm having thus far is deciding what to actually put out there on my blogs in the public eye and what I should keep to myself. As always, I've already established several plot devices and character-based concepts that are gonna kick. Freakin'. Ass.

      All the while I'll be crafting a Tactics clone with a awesome crafting scheme (TONS of stuff to make that actually does unique-ish bonuses, blonuses, and flat-out "fuck you, Bastard!" moments if you go about doing it.

      And I thoroughly believe in giving players game-breaking toys and letting them run rampant. Well, as rampant as a Tactics clone can let ya.

      So yeah...we'll see how it goes, y'know?

      Also, for the record? Just to warn you, in my next That Bastard On, I'm going to go into fanboygasm for you saying that you like Battleworld. I mean, I don't even know which of you two I'm currently replying to - A Beer for the Shower likes the proposal?

      As a fanboy, you guys rank up in your e-celebrity with any A-lister.


      Expect a featured link and my fanboner in the next That Bastard On. Just givin' ya heads up.

      ...get it? Heads up? Fanboner?

      Aw fuck you, that was funny.

  3. I agree, it was funny! I laughed so hard I think I hurt my scrot.

    1. LOL the domain name is still up for grabs.

      GRRRR once I get some monies, 's mine.